Well said.

I just finished reading this post by an outstanding mom.

She writes about Halloween, costumes,  judgements, idiots, anger, expression,and most of all her little boy.

The post has received over 1 million hits and after reading it I now know why.

The post is called “My son is gay”

When I heard about this post on my local Calgary radio station this morning, the 2 hosts read bits and pieces from the post and I knew I had to check it out. I saw it yesterday on the word press home page but didn’t get a chance to read it. I glanced quickly at  the picture and saw a little kid sitting on a pumpkin  proudly wearing a Halloween costume.

When I read the post first thing when I got in to work before my shift started, I took a closer look at the picture and realized it was a little boy dressed up Daphine from Scooby doo.  The first words that popped in my head was “OMG he is cute, and holy doodles that is one huge pumpkin! ”

As I began to read the post my heart torn as this little guy let his mom know that he was afraid. And like all good moms she turned his frown upside down and told him it will all be ok.

This brought back a memory for me when my little boy was the same age.  My little guy wanted to wear nail polish and wear mascara because his mama did. He would sit on the closed seat of the toilet,  knees curled up to his chin while I put on my make up and asked ” what you doin mama?” I would tell him it’s for mommy to look pretty baby. He just blinked and smiled at me. On this particular evening we were heading out for a Friday dinner with some family members. Dressed in our best and ready to go I hit the bathroom for one last quick check. He stood beside me like my little shadow and asked if he could wear some. I asked him what he was meaning and he pointed to the pink polish and mascara tube on the counter. I said in haste sure. What could it hurt. It’s not like anybody would really care, he is 5 after all. So I propped him up on the bathroom counter painted his fingers a bright hot pink and told him to hold very still like a statue as I put on the mascara. He was tickled when we were all through and he looked in the mirror at himself. With a smile on his face  he boasted “Now we both look pretty mama”. And I replied “Of course we do love!” Scooping him up we headed out on the town. Even though there was no harm in me putting on a little makeup on my little boy I knew someone would say something. And sure a shoot they did. I brushed it off and said we were having fun and he wanted to try it. No harm done.

As the years went on my son developed a LOVE for the color pink. Actually he was obsessed with the color. Everything was pink. Pink this and pink that. It bothered me that he was the only little boy who loved pink. I finally said to him one day its ok to like pink, color with pink and play with pink blocks but boys should really not wear pink. He looked at me at the age of 7 and said ” Well if girls can wear blue why can’t boys wear pink.” DAMIT! he got me. There was no arguing with that kind of logic. From that day on I let him wear pink, love pink and I even embraced the pink way myself. So because I let him wear nail polish, mascara and wear pink did those motherly acts create a gay boy. I don’t think so. And so what if he turned out to be gay, I would love him still and I would not change the experiences we shared.

I guess my point to this post is no matter what we do  for our kids, we have their best interest at heart and we have to let them explore and be themselves no matter what other people may think. This is how they learn and this is how we learn as parents.

This sweet bright little boy knew that he would get bugged and was afraid like all kids his age would be. But his mom stood strong and told him that all would be ok, gave him the boost of confidence he needed and I am sure a little squeeze. In the back of her mind I am sure she knew that some one would say something and she was right. It was other moms who voiced their opinions when they just should have kept their thoughts to themselves. We are taught early on if you don’t have anything  nice to say, then don’t say anything at  all. It’s a shame that moms ABC did not seem to get the memo on this.

It’s sad to think that even at this day in age we still have to deal with all sorts of stereo types and nonsense and just plain stupidity. And then we sit back and wonder why our society is messed up. DUH

Cheers. . .

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2 responses to “Well said.

  1. Tanya, you have raised such an amazing son and i think you are truly a wonderful person and amazing mother. Stereotypes are the limits of small minded and stupid people and we should not be limited by them. I have ALWAYS thought it’s great that Justin likes pink! He also likes fast cars! We have to stop worrying about what other people think and just live how we want. You have a well adjusted boy who will always be himself, and that is absolutely, perfectley, wonderfully fine and he wouldn’t be J any other way! We love both of you to pieces!!!!

  2. Thank you so much Lori! No wonder you are my kindred spirit! I will say the same thing about Darian. I know she is going through a bit of a tough time but she is a wonderful wondeful girl who you are truly blessed to have! And she is who she is because of the fanastic mom that you are! so just keep that in mind when you are having a moment to stop and realize what an amazing person, woman, friend, mother you are.
    I think personally we have done a really good job with our kids. they are great people who will grow up to be who they really want to be not what society dictates!
    We need to drink boons and celebrate! lol

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