Well said.

I just finished reading this post by an outstanding mom.

She writes about Halloween, costumes,  judgements, idiots, anger, expression,and most of all her little boy.

The post has received over 1 million hits and after reading it I now know why.

The post is called “My son is gay”

When I heard about this post on my local Calgary radio station this morning, the 2 hosts read bits and pieces from the post and I knew I had to check it out. I saw it yesterday on the word press home page but didn’t get a chance to read it. I glanced quickly at  the picture and saw a little kid sitting on a pumpkin  proudly wearing a Halloween costume.

When I read the post first thing when I got in to work before my shift started, I took a closer look at the picture and realized it was a little boy dressed up Daphine from Scooby doo.  The first words that popped in my head was “OMG he is cute, and holy doodles that is one huge pumpkin! ”

As I began to read the post my heart torn as this little guy let his mom know that he was afraid. And like all good moms she turned his frown upside down and told him it will all be ok.

This brought back a memory for me when my little boy was the same age.  My little guy wanted to wear nail polish and wear mascara because his mama did. He would sit on the closed seat of the toilet,  knees curled up to his chin while I put on my make up and asked ” what you doin mama?” I would tell him it’s for mommy to look pretty baby. He just blinked and smiled at me. On this particular evening we were heading out for a Friday dinner with some family members. Dressed in our best and ready to go I hit the bathroom for one last quick check. He stood beside me like my little shadow and asked if he could wear some. I asked him what he was meaning and he pointed to the pink polish and mascara tube on the counter. I said in haste sure. What could it hurt. It’s not like anybody would really care, he is 5 after all. So I propped him up on the bathroom counter painted his fingers a bright hot pink and told him to hold very still like a statue as I put on the mascara. He was tickled when we were all through and he looked in the mirror at himself. With a smile on his face  he boasted “Now we both look pretty mama”. And I replied “Of course we do love!” Scooping him up we headed out on the town. Even though there was no harm in me putting on a little makeup on my little boy I knew someone would say something. And sure a shoot they did. I brushed it off and said we were having fun and he wanted to try it. No harm done.

As the years went on my son developed a LOVE for the color pink. Actually he was obsessed with the color. Everything was pink. Pink this and pink that. It bothered me that he was the only little boy who loved pink. I finally said to him one day its ok to like pink, color with pink and play with pink blocks but boys should really not wear pink. He looked at me at the age of 7 and said ” Well if girls can wear blue why can’t boys wear pink.” DAMIT! he got me. There was no arguing with that kind of logic. From that day on I let him wear pink, love pink and I even embraced the pink way myself. So because I let him wear nail polish, mascara and wear pink did those motherly acts create a gay boy. I don’t think so. And so what if he turned out to be gay, I would love him still and I would not change the experiences we shared.

I guess my point to this post is no matter what we do  for our kids, we have their best interest at heart and we have to let them explore and be themselves no matter what other people may think. This is how they learn and this is how we learn as parents.

This sweet bright little boy knew that he would get bugged and was afraid like all kids his age would be. But his mom stood strong and told him that all would be ok, gave him the boost of confidence he needed and I am sure a little squeeze. In the back of her mind I am sure she knew that some one would say something and she was right. It was other moms who voiced their opinions when they just should have kept their thoughts to themselves. We are taught early on if you don’t have anything  nice to say, then don’t say anything at  all. It’s a shame that moms ABC did not seem to get the memo on this.

It’s sad to think that even at this day in age we still have to deal with all sorts of stereo types and nonsense and just plain stupidity. And then we sit back and wonder why our society is messed up. DUH

Cheers. . .

Hallows End

Well Halloween is over and done with for yet another year.

I ended up decorating our porch Sunday afternoon with my son’s supervision. Apparently texting his friends is more important than assisting his mother.  Like Duh of course it is when you are 13 years old and making plans with your posse!

On Friday I wasn’t so sure I was going to decorate, I mentioned that I would add something to the porch for the kiddies and I did. By the time my fav decorations were up I was totally into the Halloween spirit. The only thing missing were the carved pumpkins but lucky for us I had some plastic pumpkins I bought last year that lite up, and they seemed to work just as well.

My son’s group of hoodlums rallied at our house as home base at around 6:3ish. Lucky me! Right on time the gang was all there ready for their last year of trick or treating. Trying to get the attention of the laughing and excited brood, I did my best to advise them of some basic rules of being respectful of others, stay together and blah blah blah. I am pretty sure I saw some eye rollings as I was giving my speech. At 6:40 they were off! 10 mins of madness and kaos in my front entry way felt like an hour on the rack.

While the pack was out I received 45 cutie patooties at my house all at once it seemed. It was like the whole village piled into 2 mini van’s and ended up on my porch! Once on the porch witches, dinosaurs, and zoro’s  shoved and pushed their way to the front of the line just to see me and my cauldron of goodies!

It seemed that after the villages had gone so had the rest of the trick or treaters. It was another 45 min before another handful of kids arrived. By this time it was 8:30 and I was now handing out more than my 3 candy per kid limit. These lucky kiddies were getting at least 5-6 candies as it is better at their house than at mine.

9:00pm and it seemed that Halloween was over for yet another year. At the same time the clock struck 9:00 in came my brood of candied out teens. It was nice to see them with rosy cheeks and smiles still glued on their faces, this would classified as phase one of the sugar coma.  Parents arrived and picked up their designated child and I was left with sugar high 13-year-old boy. He decided a shower was in order and then straight to bed . This would be stage 3 of the sugar coma. He went zooming by stage 2 which is feeling sluggish tired and gross from eating candy to just hitting the hay.

I closed up shop, turned off lights, locked the doors and headed to bed myself. It was a great night and a great way for him to end his trick or treating days. From this point on I am expecting more tricking than treating. *HELP ME!*

Cheers :0)

snicky-snack attack!

Snicky-snack is my son’s new nick name. Why I don’t know it just came out of my mouth one day and now it is what it is.

Anyhoo..I don’t know about you but when you have kids no means no. Simple concept. Not quite with snicky. He seems to be at the age where he pushes his luck. (this is not to be confused with the show with no whammies). He likes to see how many ways he can say something that I have said no to. This is the trickiness of our youth today.

Example:

Snicky: Mom can we get a slurpee today?

Me: No not today love we just had one the other day.

Long pause

Snicky:  But I am sooooooooo thirsty..I am dying, I am melting..HELP ME!!!!

Me: Maybe another day this week. Why don’t you have a glass of water or an ice tea instead.

Long pause accompanied by a long drawn out sigh

Snicky: *wines* I don’t want water ….Oh look I found a dollar !

Glances my way with green eyes batting lovingly at me

Do not make eye contact..I repeat do not make eye contact

Me: Snicky I said not today. If you keep asking it is not going to happen. *slight tone change*

Snicky: Gosh mom you don’t have to raise your voice at me!

Me: I am not raising my voice but if it helps you hear me better I can do that no prob. Like I said not today!.

Snicky: GAWD, fine I didn’t want one anyway!

Snicky exits scene in a huff and puff.

Me: /facepalm

And this is what it is like with an almost 13-year-old who cannot take no for an answer. I love him  dearly but come on now!!! When my mom or dad said no it meant NO..until I pulled the same crap lol. funny how that works.

In the end I try not to give in and most times we compromise which seems to make us both happy campers for yet another day.

cheers O_O

Frustrated Mama

I am beyond frustrated with my 12 yr old. I went through his binder today with him to see how his organizational skills were keeping up and to say the least those skills are in the pooper. No surprise there. The rings in the binder were all bent and warped,  crumpled papers everywhere, crumbs that  belong to some sort of sugary treat are also residing in the binder of doom. ARG!

Call me crazy to think that being organized makes life easier and that it is not all that hard to do. I know for a 12 yr old it may not be the easiest thing in the world but I am positive it can be accomplished with a little help from ohhh lets just say from a parental unit!  Also having regular purging sessions of the binder will also prolong it’s life span for more than just 4 months.

School is his worst enemy. His grades are not great, he doesn’t try or want to try, he makes things harder than they need to be, he doesn’t ask for help when he doesn’t understand something, and he doesn’t bring any home work home. * I’ll have the stressful combo with cheese please*

I am truly tired of having the same conversations with him about the importance of school and good grades.  I feel like a broken record and no matter how many different ways I play my tune nothing seems to sink in. And just when I think that maybe some small fracture that I have rambled off gets him thinking.. I am foiled again.

He knows I am here for him in every way shape or form. I am one of his many tools he can use to help him succeed in school, however he doesn’t take advantage of it. That in itself drives me mental. And maybe I am doing something wrong. Maybe I am not there for him like I think I am. Maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable asking me for help. I just don’t know.

I can only hope from all the times we have sat down and had wonderful conversations about school, our plans of attack to make it easier for him, that some of it or parts of what we have talked about may actually stick.  It’s heartbreaking to see such a fantastic kid not see what he really can do.

I love him to the moon and back and only want to see him succeed, and I hope one day he can finally believe in himself like I do. That will be the ultimate reward.

❤ cheers

parent creature interviews

Well it was that time again to meet the creatures of my son’s school. It had to be done, it must be done. To face the creatures in their natural habitat.

With nervous stomachs we entered the den of doom. Knowing that at any moment we could be devoured by the ferocious beasts that await us. We enter.

We take our places across from the creatures  and try not to make eye contact. But this cannot be avoided. We glance at one another for support, take a breath and look up.

Hands folded on the table we are ready for anything now. Combined forces could not stop us.

Creature one looks at me and then looks at the hunted and smiles, bearing large Lateral incisor. A small *gasp* is whispered in the air.

We are told that with more hard work the prey would do well. More concentration on the task at hand and he can and will excel.

Creature two nods in agreement.  If the prey would come to class prepared more often time would not be wasted getting writing apparatus. Time spent studying a few times a week going over notes and test would most definitely help the prey.

The prey nods. He answers with an acknowledgement of what he needs to do more often  and does not deny  the truth being told.

Creature three notes that the prey is smart and charming but lacks the consistency in class room effort. If the prey would concentrate more on his own work rather than the work of others he would begin to see his own potential. Many missed assignments were not handed in thus the no grade, if he were given a grade it would have been 30%. I shake my head is disbelief, and scower at the prey.

I speak directly at creature three, asking if the prey was failing in class why was I not engage to get him back on his path? I cannot assist the prey if I do not know what is taking place. I also mention that this is the job and responsibility of the predator to keep me informed as I feel in the dark and have no clue of the goings on. The jungle is a scary place and guidance is still required among all prey that live in it. I say I am not a mind reader and need engagement if I am to help the prey succeed.

The prey mumbles that he is afraid to succeed. He is afraid to succeed as he does not want to fail. He adds that he has a can’t do attitude when he really needs a can do attitude and will strive to do that on his end.

Very wise for one so young.

Creature three does not look me directly in the eye. The panel before us don’t have much to say regarding my bold statement. They each jot down email address in order to keep better contact with the prey’s parental unit. I am satisfied with this as I made my point and the point was taken.

Creature four has kind words to say about the prey. That he is bright and helpful and he has a curiosity to learn. He is funny and smart and knows that the prey could do so much better. However when things get to tough the prey gives in. Both the prey and I know this to be true.

In conclusion predator four smiles at us both and we release a sigh of relief knowing that the time in the den has concluded.

Pleasantries are issued from both sides, thank you for coming into the den’s have been given out, and well wishes for a safe trip home. 

As both the prey and I leave the den of doom, we are both relieved it is over and realize it was not all that terrible. Encouraging things were said to the prey and about the prey which was lovely to hear and boosted the prey’s confidence ever so slightly.

With happy hearts we have survived another parent creature interview.

Whew  

The prey agrees and says he will try harder.