Today I decided to shed my week-long pity party outfit and get out and about.
I saw my son off to school as per usual and ended up having to drive him cause he missed his bus..boy is he lucky I love him enough to drive him to school in my jammies, flip-flops and a winter coat. With my hair all in a fuzz we left in the rain with a new-found sense of something. I stole a peek at him in the car and my heart sighed and I knew that we would be ok. After I dropped him off at his place of education I boogied home to get ready for my outing.
My plan for today was simple I had to put away my woes and stresses of finding a new job and just be. Which is easier said than done but as Pat Benatar once said hit me with your best shot..FIRE AWAY!!! this reference is more towards my life than to a man.. but whatever you just can’t mess with a 80’s rock icon now can you.
I choose Eau Clare market for my place to go. It’s busy at noon and a great place to get a cup of joe and just sit. I am not much of a coffee drinking but on the advice of my life guru this was a must in order to get into the zone of just being. Sooo with my cup of java and my new notebook and pen that I had just purchased I was ready to just sit and be. I picked a nice table in the middle of the food fair and began the favorite hobby of all time ” people watching”.
Sipping my over sugared bevvie I started to relax and I started to concentrate on the sounds around me rather than the visual aspect. The number one sound was laugher. It’s neat how a man-made sound can instantly put a smile on your face no matter what your mood is. In between listening and watching people’s lunch hour go by, my mind was still racing with all my insecurities I have had this week. My doubts, my fears, the pressure, the wanting something more, the being happy with who I am, the providing for my family and so on. The thoughts were still all there however I was seeing them more positively rather than negatively. I do have a lot. I still have to make lunches, do laundry, make dinner, tidy the house whether I have a job or not. (quote from life guru) Life does go on and just because I am not employed my world that makes me happy doesn’t just stop, it continues to spin and provides me with a sense of accomplishment.
As I sat in the food fair it kinda reminded me like a town carnival. Instead of carnies waving you on to spend oodles of money on lame toys you have food people tempting you with tasty fatty foods. I love seeing the colors of the clothes people wear, the smells of combo number 5 cooking, the smell of coffee, the signs chalked in bright colors to advertise the special of day, the interaction of people, the sounds of footsteps of passer buyers, the excitement of a new purchase and all that jazz. As much activity as there was I felt calm and was able to, at least I think I was able to just BE.
I didn’t end up writing much down today but that is ok. I think I accomplished getting out my funk and feeling somewhat rejuvenated about me.
I owe a HUGE thanks to one of my closest dearest friends for putting some positive thoughts and spins in my little universe. (thanks missy <3)